Since I started my practice, and established Fahraway Mythical Animal Hospital, I've been flooded with questions about the maladies, habits, and behaviors of mythical creatures. I find that I often get asked the same question a few times, so I've decided to start this blog to enable my patients and the caretakers of my patients to ask questions. My first concern is for all mythical creatures, so I will do all I can to preserve and ensure their well being. Mythical creatures are often overlooked, underrepresented, misunderstood, and as much as it saddens me to say it, abused.
So that being said, feel free to ask questions, I'll answer them to the best of my ability.
What makes you so qualified to answer questions about mythical creatures?
I received my Doctorate of Mythological Veterinary Medicine (D.M.V.M.) from St. Ambrosius University in 2005. I interned with Dr. Abelard Shoreditch, one of the most well-known mythical veterinarians, at his practice near Avalon. His specialty is draconian medicine, while I specialize in ailuroform and equiform medicine. I have my own practice, Fahraway Mythical Animal Hospital and I have been at that location for 7 years. I am a published author of both textbooks and also frequent white papers for the Journal of Mythical Veterinary Medicine. I belong to both the American and European Mythical Veterinary Associations and I am a support vet for the Society for Prevention of Abuse Against Mythical Animals. I am happy to provide a bibliography of publications and a list of references if requested.
All credentials aside, I am passionate about mythical creatures. I have been since I was a girl and found an orphaned Cat Sith kitten while I was on holiday with the folks in Scotland. I do focus often on homeopathic medicine, but that is because there aren't many pharmaceuticals available for mythical creatures. Which I'm actually grateful for. I have a wonderful network of hedge, kitchen, green and white witches that supply me with many of my tonics, pills, salves, lotions, and flea dips (yes, mythical beasts can and do get fleas!). Mythical Veterinary medicine is unfortunately not an exact science because of the ever-shifting nature of the practice and creatures, but I will always do my very best. I love being a Mythdoc!
And, let's move on to our first question!
My unicorn is pooping confetti instead of glitter. Should I be concerned?
Short answer, probably not. But this is a great time to talk about unicorn dietary needs and digestive issues. Because unicorns are (generally) smarter that your mundane equines, usually you don't have to worry as much about what they've been eating while they've been out of your sight. However, the sudden appearance of confetti may indicate that your unicorn is eating more dried grasses and drinking less water. I would make sure that there is plenty of water available to them. If your unicorn's manure continues to be confetti for more than a couple weeks, or suddenly turns to rainbows, I would seek a mythdoc's counsel as soon as possible. Also, if your unicorn begins refusing virgins or lays around for long periods of time without its head in anyone's lap, I would bring them in for a check up. Because many unicorns have a long digestive tract, sometimes things get bogged down. It can sometimes become necessary to give them a potion that includes rosehips, linseed oil, marshmallows, slippery elm and a little fairy wing. Be forewarned though, when that stuff begins to work, it's best to be well out of the way. Otherwise, you'll never get all the glitter out of your hair and clothes.
A side note: Non-Carnivorous Equiform unicorns are generally the unicorn species that have glittery or confetti-like manure. Some of the European or Asian species will produce manure that looks like sparkling marbles or peas, and one species even poops fireflies! So, when consulting your mythdoc, please specify which species of unicorn you are referring to. I inferred that this case was equiform because of the nature of its condition, but it may not always be this straightforward.
Remember, as with any mythical creature, digestive diseases, parasites or pixies can be potentially prevented by practicing good hygiene and keeping the creature's living quarters clean. Also, routine maintenance such as hoof trimming and polishing, horn grinding, and adequate nutrition are important in maintaining the health of your unicorns.
If you have questions, please, send them to me!
